No. 9

FULL CIRCLE

Today I'm Writing to You From the Clouds

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I’ve been in Texas for the last seven days. That’s where I was born and raised, so I wanted to reconnect to my roots, and my tribe, for my 30th birthday. It was so grounding, and charging, and I got really clear about a lot of things. I had the most fun time with family, reconnected with old friends, and spent time with best friends. I got to experience a full-circle soul journey. It was like lightening-bolt magic in a bottle. 

And there's a lot I want to write about today, but for whatever reason, the only thing I could produce was a poem. At first, this really frustrated me, but instead of getting angry, I'm going to listen to my heart, and take it easy as I gently shift back into reality. There's a little trick I call, tuning into your home frequency, to receive deep soul messages of truth, but we can get more into that later. 

Ironically, a question I was asked this past week was about following through on short-term goals, that make us feel silly and insecure. So, it's actually perfect that I'm dealing with a creative block the size of Texas today. Hola, here we go. 

Here's my response to a beautiful soul's question in my coaching lesson for this week: FOLLOWING THROUGH ON SHORT-TERM GOALS. 

MY FRIEND, 

As a part of my new practice, and blending my strengths and experience as a writer, (which I've done professionally for about six years) I promised myself that I would finally start a blog. It's something I had wanted to do for a long time, and when I finished my coaching certification program, I committed to posting an essay every Friday. Today is Friday, and I did NOT want to write today. Every time I started to type it triggered frustration and insecurities. I wanted to blame it on a full week of celebratory activities, but instead I'm going to see it as an excellent opportunity to answer your question about following through on short term goals. 

Sometimes it's so easy, and creativity flows like honey. I LOVE THOSE DAYS, and I chant mantras of gratitude on repeat. And other times, like today, I'll have crazy blocks, think everything I'm doing is silly, and that it's all a waste of time. So, instead of giving up, and allowing those allusive little voices -- the ones that want us to give into our own self-suffering -- to take over, I'm going to fight back peacefully by writing a poem. This poem allowed me to process the feelings of ending a decade, and starting something new. It was a wild week in the wild, wild west. And if this is all I've got today, then hip hip hooray. 

And you ask me, what if nobody cares? Well, they might not. But may I invite you to shift your intention of writing to begin with? I am writing to process and learn from my own practice throughout the week, so even if I'm the only person that reads this, I had my own small victory today. I get to celebrate having taken a baby step forward despite fear and anxiety. They call actions like this EUSTRESS, or good stress, which is where you respond to a stressor, such as a challenge, with positive feelings because you feel it will bring you personal growth. 

Also, send me your work. I'll read it / watch it. As a life coach, holding space to celebrate wins --no matter how small -- makes my heart buzzy. And as I must practice what I preach in any capacity, here is my poem that helped me process my block today. I started writing this by turning off my phone, shutting my computer, and putting a pencil to a paper. Old school, healthy, human stuff. 

And since life is art and art is life, here's a reflection on my life over the past week as I experienced a cosmic shift that I felt while dancing under the mysterious lights of Marfa, TX; one week ago today on the fifth of May, was my 30th birthday. 

 Planet Marfa II Marfa, TX 

Planet Marfa II Marfa, TX 

“THE LAST WEEK OF MY 20S” 

Landing with toes touching hot sand in an infinite desert

My third eye blinks, senses, pleasure, golden dirt 

Green tea, ceremonies, stretch it out, practice 

Full moon letting go, hands out like a cactus 

Adios to the last of my old addictions

Mona Lisa smiles because of the ease between frictions 

Rivers running wildly 

Howling at the moon mildly 

See the crescent in her eyes? 

The star’s energy rebalanced the compass 

Amnesia in pajamas, it blurs her compassion 

Breakthroughs coming through her reignited passion 

Smile for the photograph 

Buzzing bumble bee, the rose can’t help but laugh 

Giggling into expansiveness with very little expenditures 

Serendipity of the cinema’s strong female characters 

Hold on, let go, spring lamb, it’s the first of May 

A new decade for me, only five minutes away 

Chemistry drives rocket ships 

The hula girl shakes her hips

Starring longingly at a nobleman’s lips 

The silver and gold are not in his pockets

The money tree left it’s secrets in your locket 

The one you wear around your neck 

Close to you heart 

He loves you because you’re smart 

Hot showers, hot tea, hot piece of toast 

A radically golden era just hours away, and I mean it is the most—

Extraordinary life 

Tarot cards, tater tots, and champagne before a flight 

Flying, moving, dancing, look at the light 

The light within, tuning the violin 

To detoxify your body all you have to do is jump in 

She has a lot of pretty boys that she calls friends 

It only takes six glasses of pink wine to make amends 

With all the angels, demons, both telling you to change the lens

He lends advice 

Everything sorted out over a layover in Las Vegas 

Very good, just point your toe next time, like you’re posing for Degas

Got you, caught you, summer breeze rolling through 

The power was, and always will be, within you 

Tequila is from Jalisca, Mezcal is from Oaxca; I love this Mexican holiday. 

Oh yeah, and it also happens to be 30 years around the sun since my first birthday. 

Love yourself, then each other. Let's live our best lives. I look forward to hearing from you. 

With Love, 

Alli Caudle

allicaudle@gmail.com